


Home is where the start is

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-16
Updated: 2012-06-16
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:03:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My brain goes weird places sometimes.  I guess this would be mostly sort of pre-slashy?  Sorta?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home is where the start is

The ride home from the camp had been eerily quiet. Nobody knew what Nathan and done and they didn’t want to ask, but they could make some good guesses from the condition of his hands clenched on the wheel.  
Pickles sat with the worried expression he usually reserved for his family, just staring straight ahead.  
Skwisgaar and Murderface were silently staring out their respective windows, and Toki slumped in his seat between them, _nothing_ had gone like he’d hoped.

Back at the haus, Toki headed for his room, detouring slightly to snatch a bottle of booze on his way. It was half empty, but it would do. Kicking his boots off, he sat on his bed with his knees pulled up, back against the wall, and drank. They would probably make fun of him for having another stupid idea, _again_ , so he just wanted to be alone for now.  
How had they known about Ludwik? They’d shown up right after, they had to have known somehow. All he’d wanted was to make friends and have some fun...  
It was also too bad he didn’t get to hang out with Magnus more, he seemed so nice.

Drinking slowly, he’s still killed most of his bottle by the time Skwisgaar staggered into his room without even knocking. He had a bottle of his own, held carelessly by the bottom, and moved to sprawl face down across Toki’s bed.  
Toki nudged him with a toe. “What the fucks you doesing in my room?”  
Skwisgaar lurched, flopping onto his side and gazing up at Toki with some sort of intense expression. “I ams subs-posed to be taksing cares of you.” He reached out to tap Toki’s nose but missed by a mile. “Was sooooo worrieds...”

Having been around drunk Skwisgaar many times, Toki knew this was more than mere drunkenness. He took the alcohol away, setting both bottles on his headboard. “What dids you take? You’s goings to be okays?”  
“I has no ideas... it ams RED! Or maybe nots... now I can’ts be rembersings?  
“Pickle gives it to you?”  
“Pffffffft. No little Toki, I just takes somet’ing when he ams not looksing.” He flapped his hand dismissively. “Don’ts worry, I ams fine...”

He probably would be, but this still wasn’t normal behavior. “I don’t gets it. You’s all cool that I goes to camps, then you all shows up in you’s robes. _Why_?”  
“Becauses Nathan tells us _he_ ams dere! We hads to saves you.”  
Toki was very, very confused. “You means Ludwik?”  
“ _Magnus_. Fucks, I t’ought he was gones forever and den Nathan says he ams at de camp _with you_.”  
“Buts Magnus is a really cools guy! He saveds me even!”

Skwisgaar groped around for his bottle, then spotted it on the headboard. He reached, but Toki shook his head. “You’s fucked up enoughs.”  
“I cans never be fucksed up enoughs for dis. I hads a terrible nights, and when I finally jus’ sleeps Nathan wakes us up and I don’ts even know if you ams still alives or if we ams all too lates. And den dere you ams, wit’ _him_...” He reached out. “Gives me mine fucksing bottle, Toki, I needs it tonight.”  
Giving in, Toki handed him the one with the least amount left, and only after lowering it even further with another big drink.

Skwisgaar drank, then surprisingly passed it back. “You knows who he ams, right?”  
“Um, nots really?”  
“Magnus Hammersmit’, de origional lead guitarist of Dethklok.”  
“Holy shits!” _No wonder_ the name had sounded familiar!  
Skwisgaar shifted again, still on his side but curling his body into a protective arc around Toki. “He swears... Backs den he swears revenge. And we never hears from him agains. And den he has _you_... We all t’inks de worst.”

Toki took another drink and set the bottle back out of the way. Had he really been in danger? Magnus had been the one protecting him! It didn’t make sense. And Skwisgaar, why was Skwisgaar acting this way? Did it mean he actually _cared_?  
Skwisgaar shifted closer, briefly nuzzling his face against Toki’s hip before resuming his gazing up at him.  
He was too adorable not to pet, and Toki couldn’t help smiling as he gently stroked Skwisgaar’s cheek and hair. If a man could purr, his expression said he would be doing it. “You really cares abouts Ol’ Toki?”  
“Ja... Don’ts has any idea hows you can t’inks udderwise.”

Suddenly Skwisgaar pushed himself up. “Shits shits shits... don’ts follows me!” he rushed to the bathroom and swung the door shut behind him.  
Toki waited until he heard the toilet flush, then got up and followed. Skwisgaar was sitting propped against the wall. “You pukes?”  
“Ja. Shits, whatever dat was amns’t a good mix, Toki.”  
“Well you gots it out?” He held out his hands. “Comes on, gets up. I’s not leavings you on the floors.”

Skwisgaar allowed himself to be pulled into a standing position, but when Toki tried to lead him out he resisted. “I needs to brushes mine teet’ or somet’ing...”  
“Mouthwashes work?”  
“Ja, ams goods enough.” Skwisgaar veered to the sink and rinsed his mouth thoroughly. “I shoulds probablies go to mine room.” He swayed and had to grab the sink for balance.  
“No, stays with me.” Toki slipped an arm around him, urging him to let go of the sink and walk. “Lets me takes care of you for a changes.”

Back beside the bed, Toki propped Skwisgaar against the wall. “Just holds still and you’s not goings to fall.” He pulled back his sheets, but wasn’t sure how to proceed from there. Since he usually slept in his boxers, he decided to go ahead and strip down.  
“Skwisgaar, comes sit downs. I needs to takes your boots off so we cans sleep.”  
Skwisgaar staggered and sat, pulling his shirt awkwardly over his head in the process. “I don’t sleeps in mine clothes.”  
“Fines.” Toki knelt and pulled the boots off, then the socks. Was he really going to take off Skwisgaar’s pants?

“Oh by de ways? I amn’ts wearsing any underwears.”  
That broke the tension and Toki snickered. “Oh wells, nots like I hasn’t seen you nakeds before.” They’d all seen each other at some point. Toki unfastened the belt and lowered the zipper. “Huh, I thoughts you always shaves.”  
“Nots alls de time. Waits, why ams you looksing?”  
“Well it’s kinds of hards to miss rights now.” Toki gave the pants a tug. “You gots to lift you’s hips, comes on, helps me outs here.”  
Skwisgaar obeyed, and the pants slid free. He rolled fully onto the bed and pulled the covers over him.

Toki dropped the pants on the floor with the rest of their clothes and sat on the edge of his bed. Skwisgaar cared about him, Skwisgaar was spending time with him, Skwisgaar was naked in his bed... Yeah, this called for more alcohol. Grinning at his good fortune, Toki grabbed a bottle and drank.  
Skwisgaar pushed himself partially up, reaching out, asking for more.  
“You sures? You already pukes.”  
“Dat was de drug, I’s fine nows.” He took the offered bottle and drank, then lay back down. “Your bed ams pretty comfortables, actuallies.”  
Toki took another drink, then turned off his lamp and crawled under the covers as well.

So his great surprise, Skwisgaar wrapped around him like he was channeling Pickles’s spirit animal.  
“Skwisgaar? You okays?”  
“I can’ts lose you, Toki. I can’ts.” He squeezed tighter.  
“You woulds never says these things if you wasn’t realies, reallies fuckeds up.”  
“Ja, I knows. But dat don’ts mean it amn’ts true.” He sighed. “I ams real messed up, Toki, I knows I ams. I can’ts normallies let anyt’ing shows. Dat don’t mean I don’t still feels t’ough.”

“I don’t has any idea what you feels.” Toki looked at him, barely visible in then dim light from the clock. “You’s probablies just messing with me anyways.” This _was_ Skwisgaar after all, naked in his bed or not.  
In response Skwisgaar kissed him, and Toki was glad for the mouthwash. Then the thinking part of his brain shut down and he kissed back with all the pent up feelings that were flooding him. Skwisgaar would probably make fun of him later, but fuck it, right now he didn’t care. He wrapped his own arms around Skwisgaar, returning his desperate hold.

Finally, Skwisgaar broke the kiss. “Toki?”  
“Whats?”  
“I... I loves you. Godsdamnsit, I _loves_ you. And I hates mineself fors it.”  
Toki wasn’t sure how to respond to that, or if it could even possibly be true, so he just kept holding on.  
Skwisgaar tucked his face down, pressing it hard against Toki’s neck. He was still clinging tightly, so Toki squeezed him a little harder.

“Toki, I can’ts breathe...”  
“Oh sorries!” He let up on the pressure.  
“Dats okay, I don’ts need air if I has you.”  
“Wowee, you gets poetic when you’s reallies fuckeds up, don’ts you?”  
Skwisgaar just giggled in response.

Toki was very aware of the pressure against his thigh and his own body’s response, but he was determined to ignore it. They were both fucked up, even though he wasn’t quite as bad he knew he was nowhere near sober, and this wasn’t the time. There might _never_ be a time, but it was a chance he had to take. More kissing though, he could do that. He really wanted to do that.  
Skwisgaar was more than okay with this plan, or had a similar plan himself. Their mouths joined again.

Toki shifted, turning to fully face Skwisgaar and press against him. There was no such thing as close enough, arms wrapped tight around each other as their tongues melded.   
This was something new, something different. A connection that neither of them had even dreamed existed.   
It wasn’t even about sex, although oh god yes he _really_ wanted to fuck, but this was too special to compromise in any way. And somehow, Skwisgaar seemed to feel the same way.  
Hands still holding but not roaming, they kissed.

When they finally came up for air again, Skwisgaar was fading fast. “Sorries, I ams jus’ so tireds... “  
“It’s okays, Skwisgaar, you can sleeps. Toki’s gots you.”  
“Don’ts lets me go, please don’ts lets me go?”  
“I holds you as long as you lets me.” Toki kissed him on the forehead. “Goes to sleeps.”  
“Tack... jag älskar dig.”  
“Jeg elsker deg, Skwisgaar. I always has.”


End file.
